Regain your strength!
You’ll soon regain your strength with these 4 insights. Resilience is a core skill to nurture if we want to be an artist and live a creative life. At some point we all face a “no” when we want a “yes”. What’s important is that you let it inform you, not define you. Strategies to build your resilience and believe in yourself.
1. Clarify Your Sense of Purpose when we get clear about what we want, it becomes much easier to discern which opportunities are right for us and which aren’t. When starting out, I would pretty much say yes to anything singing related that would help me to learn and this was a great way to build experience. However, it only served me for a time. To progress, I had to define what I actually wanted and this meant only saying yes to the opportunities that were aligned with my goals and values. Once you get clear about what you want, it’s easier to develop the traits and skills that support this.
2. Do it Better, Then Do a Better Thing Sometimes when we get a no, especially a significant one, it can feel like a big rejection. It can also be frustrating that we’re not in control of whether we stop or pass go. Jay-Z was famously turned down by record companies – and look where he is now. But we could be. Jay-Z was famously turned down by record companies. He took to selling his music from the boot of his car and step by step built not only a sustainable music career, but the hugely successful Roc-A-Fella imprint.
Last week I read Do Disrupt by Mark Shayler after meeting him at an event. His whole approach is that it’s not enough to do things better, we need to do better things. If you improve on something it becomes better, but it’s still the same thing. Thinking really differently involves a leap. Jay-Z did it better and then he did a better thing.
What better thing could you be doing?
3. Act On What You have Learned. Even in a difficult situation, if we look hard enough we can always find a gift – a hidden jewel of information, insight or knowledge – something to help us grow. Get feedback. If you’ve had a no, ask why. Usually you’ll find out where you could improve. Great! If it resonates, act on it. We all need to invest time in developing our skills. Being excellent at what you do takes time and discipline. Knowing what to do is great. Doing it brings the reward. Of course, you could have all the talent, you we’re just in front of the wrong people for you.
Find some different people.
4. Put It Into Perspective. I’m a failure’. ‘I’ll never be a singer’. ‘I’m not good enough’. ‘I should get a proper job’. I’ve thought all of the above (Actually, maybe not the last one. Hearing “no” can hard, but is it really that bad? A good trick is just to add a “So what?” I didn’t get the role. So what? I was flat on that high note in the second chorus. So what? With a sense of purpose, doing a better thing, acting on what you have learned and a sense of perspective, you’ll soon be bouncing back.